Bartimaeus

Ever have one of those conversations with someone that just doesn't go so well? How you were sure you had something figured out and then find out that you're perception of the situation is incorrect?

Ever felt like you've tried your hardest to communicate what you want to say, but it never seems to come out right? Or try to make a situation right, and the other person says that things are fine, but the tone and timbre of their voice indicates that they're just settling so they can shut you up and move on to something else?

Ever wished that you could perfectly communicate both your intention and your meaning and have them both be perfectly understood by the listener? Ever been so frustrated by your own inarticulation of your message that you beg the other person just to tell you if they have any idea what you're talking about?

Ever been uncertain about what qualifies as walking all over another person and what qualifies as maintaining your own individuality? Ever wondered if you're the most selfish person on the planet? Ever wondered if the things people say in anger are really true or just designed to hurt you?

Ever tried to analyze your own character yet lacked the proper devices of perception to perceive and compensate for a fault that everyone you know keeps telling you that you have? Ever wished you could see yourself perfectly framed in the crystal-clear lense of truth so that you can quickly see what needs to be amended and what can be left well enough alone?

Ever been so frustrated at trying to be at peace with all people that you long for nothing more than pure and utter isolation from all other human beings? Ever wanted to be stranded by yourself on a desert island like Robinson Crusoe?

Ever wished you knew how to tell her how much you love her without the words falling from your lips dead, imperfect, and inadequate?

Ever defended what you believe is right to the point of loosing friends? Ever forgotten that the truth matters more than what other people think of you? Ever let petty concerns and foolish material gain cloud your mind to the things that really matter in this life?

Ever found yourself face to face with the Almighty, and suddenly realize that if it weren't for His Grace, you would be dead? A wretched, imperfect, blind, shuddering, weak, marred image of Almighty God quaking in the presence of the Original, longing for truth and mercy?

Ever realized just how much another person loves you and has been trying to show that to you, and then also realize that you weren't paying attention because you were too wrapped up in looking for something else from them that you missed it? Did you kick yourself, too?

Ever realized just how blind you are?

To everything?

Son of David, I want to see...

Ten Games that Blew My Mind

In no particular order...

Doom: The original game that I lost sleep over. Holy freaking crap, was this thing ever awesome when it came out. I have never before been so enthralled with a video game. Mere childsplay by today's snooty standards, this will forever stand out as the single video game that had the most paradigm-shifting impact on my young mind. Period. This game gave birth to the entire genre of first person shooters, and there have been very few games that have actually surpassed this one in terms of raw fun. This was the birthplace of multiplayer. id software coined the term deathmatch with this game, for crying out loud! And it's one of the only games to ever feature online co-op mode, something not even Halo can boast. When the chips are down, every first person shooter owes a great deal to DOOM, and they had better remember to give respect where respect is due.

Duke Nukem 3D: Destructible environments. Dynamic lighting effects. Remote-detonation pipebombs. No useless weapons. Droves of fun, well designed enemies. And a 3D engine capable of placing rooms over other rooms. Sounds like a modern game, right? Nope. Just Duke 3D. This is by far what I would call my "all time favorite video game." Why? Because developers are just now catching up to what this bad boy could already do. Sure, it didn't have the spit and polish of a modern game. Heck, all of the sprites were 8 bit. But it had one thing that a lot of modern games just don't have at all whatsoever today: FUN. And you know what? After nine years, it's STILL more fun than most of the other games I've tried.

Super Castlevania IV: A SNES classic. I absolutely loved this game. It had such incredible music, special effects, cool enemies, and a flair for the horror-macabre dramatic that is just flat out absent in today's market. By far, the best Castlevania game in the lot (that I've played).

Super Metriod: A true addiction. Some of the best storytelling and game-designing I have ever seen. Mystery, action, loss, and righteous indignation. Oh, yeah... the screw attack ruled, too.

Ninja Gaiden: Yes, I am reffering to the Xbox version. No other game in recent years reminded me so much of that old feeling I used to get when playing games as a kid. You see, this old feeling was a mix of "oh wow that is so freaking awesome" with "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH." Ninja Gaiden had both. Resident Evil 4 and God of War together don't hold a candle to this game. The depth of gameplay this title offered was sadly coupled by the sheer amount of vein-scalding homicidal anger that the player feels. Oh, how I wanted to make a controller-shaped hole in my television. By far, one of the most difficult titles I have ever encountered, and among the most addictively entrhalling.

Command and Conquer: I love this game. You get to make a little army of people who will happily march off a cliff for you, give them a bunch of cool tanks and guns, and then march them off into the fiery fray of death. It forever set a standard for all the real-time strategy games that would follow in its wake, but none of them would ever be as basely satisfying.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past: Best. Super. Nintendo. Game. Ever. Period.

Unreal Tournament 2004: The game that reminded me that multiplayer could be fun. No, not just fun, EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE. Constantly being re-invented through the mod scene with fresh maps and mutators, this game truly lives and breathes. Never the same way twice but always fun, the massive outdoor environments, fast-paced indoor deathmatch, and incredible selection of useful weapons and vehicles keep this firmly placed at the top of my list of favorite games. I honestly haven't had this much fun with a game... well... ever!

Halo: Mysterious, mystical, and very well written, Halo is the game that got me back into video games. Heck, I bought an Xbox just to be able to play it. What amazes me about this game is it's simplicity. It's really nothing too flashy, just a basic first person shooter set in space. Ah, but here's it's secret: It's fun. REALLY fun. Storyline? Meh. I've read and played better written ones lots of times (see any Zelda game, the Half-Life games, Metroid Prime, or any Final Fantasy Game). Original? Not really. Groundbreaking? Not especially. Fun? YES. Compelling? YES. Addictive? YES. One of my favorites? Without a doubt. The best ever? Hell no.

Half-Life: The only first person shooter that could arguably be said to be just as important to the genre as DOOM. This game was the first to introduce a continuous, deep, well-written storyline with characters that you gave a crap about. It was also the first time anyone had ever taken the Quake engine and used it to render environments in colors other than brown and green. Both are huge, monumental contributions to the FPS genre. Playing Half-Life is like living through an episode of the X-files mixed with a classic Science Fiction film, and you're the star of the show. For the first time ever, a video game could be said to be a true work of art. And that is exactly what Half-Life is: Art. Pure and simple.

Ho Hum...

Not a whole lot new happening. Heading back to Pullman in a week to look for a place to live. Working on reviewing two games for Mothergoat. Also attending that pesky thing called "class". Oh, running lots of subjects, too.

Recently found out that I do NOT have a detached retina in my left eye. I guess that's good news. So much for my dreams of having a cybernetic eye. Oh, well.

Anyway, chillin' with Malcolm right now. He's going back to Singapore tomorrow. There are no trees there, and cheeseburgers eat people. No, not really. I'm just kidding. I'm not that ignorant.

Well, maybe just a little...

Word to your Matrimony

Congratulations, Malcolm and Kelly! Have a great honeymoon!

It's official

Today, I submitted my official acceptance letter to the graduate program director for experimental psychology at Washington State.

Yup, that's right. WSU it is!

Go Cougars!