Dog Days of... whatever the hell this season is.
I think they've beat a hasty retreat. Since I laid down the traps earlier this week, I've only caught a cricket. And that doesn't merit a picture, so don't ask. Poor little guy.
But, quite fortunately, the Spider Traps haven't had any Hobo Spiders in them. This means, pretty much, that I'm good to go.
I'm going to leave them out while I'm gone over the next week or two just to catch any sneaky spidery invaders, but so far, so good!
In the meantime, Bugsy and Bobo's wedding is coming up, so I'll be out of town for a while. Again. This Summer has been loaded with travels, and honestly I'm pretty darn happy that we're going to just be staying in town for the remainder of it once we're back. I'm sick of traveling - for now - and just want some freakin' peace and quiet.
I picked up and started reading the first volume of Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, and so far it is very, very good. I'm looking forward to digging in to his novel American Gods while I'm on the plane ride over. I also picked up the new Venture Bros. DVD. If you've never seen the show, it's worth a rent. Packed with satirical goodness, I say! Oh, it's a cartoon, just FYI, of the Adult Swim category. And it's quite good.
Other than stuffing my bulging mental midsection with more entertainment, I've been working on scarfing down an article or two here and there and generally trying to find ways to keep myself busy. Not that I don't have a lot to do, of course. It's just that I'd rather do... well... nothing.
Let's face it - I'm tired. I've been running around all summer, I haven't had a real chance to sit down and get some work done, and it's starting to bug me. A lot. I think I've contracted that whole Grad Student mentality of feeling guilty when I'm not in the office working.
Oh, well. I'll be on a plane Friday. Then in Cape Cod on Saturday. I'll post updates as I feel the need to. In the meantime, I'm going to turn on a fan, go to bed, and pray that I get some mental clarity back.
Oh, and if you were hoping for a funnier update, please follow these directions:
1. Close your eyes.
2. No, seriously, close your eyes.
3. Disregard steps 1 and 2 because you can't read the rest of the directions if your eyes are closed. Just pretend they're closed. That will work just as well.
4. Picture a Badger standing in the middle of a circus.
5. Now picture a circus clown lighting the badger on fire and putting it down another clown's pants.
6. Next, picture the victim clown running around in agony as the burning badger wreaks havok on his man-parts, leaving him a hollow, dried out husk of a man. Also picture the other clowns pointing and laughing at him as this happens.
7. Finally, picture the victim clown leave the circus, joining the military, working with special forces crews, learning to kill with his bare hands, subsequently leaving the military, and then hunting down each and every clown from that blasted circus and exacting bloody revenge on each of them for their stupid little badger prank. You can imagine him also killing their families and friends if you're in to that Sopranos sort of thing, but it's entirely optional. I was going for more of a Commando-style clown massacre thing, you know, where Ah-nold puts the steam pipe through that guy and it whistles through his chest with steam coming out the other end and Ah-nold says he needs to "blow off some steam," except that with these clowns it would probably have to be done in honking noises seeing as clowns don't really talk to each-other. The whole thing could be subtitled as well, so you'd know what was going on when they honked. That way, you can understand clearly why Binky had to die, and why he won't get any mercy from our very, very, very pissed off clown anti-hero. If you're not really in to a completely morbid revenge thing, you can make it ironic where the victim clown traps the guy who did it in a room and then fills it full of burning badgers. Or, you could add a romantic end to it where the victim clown gets the girl clown at the end. Or, if you liked Tokyo Drifter, he could seem like he's getting the girl at the end, but then honks astutely, "A Drifter needs no woman." Or, if you're a realist, he could realize that he's a freakin' clown and run back to her because he'd better take anything he can freaking get or else he'll just be lonely for the rest of his life because, I mean, come ON! He's a flipping clown!
8. Then imagine the earth getting blown up by a super-intelligent race of pink flamingos.
After following those directions closely, you should be able to adequately satisfy your appetite for the random and zany that so many of you have come to expect from my posts (and if you haven't by now, then you have either just started reading or you need a little education in the way of recognizing goofiness... or you sprained your sense of humor, in which case I can't help you because that's your own darn fault and there isn't much I can do for that, but I'd be happy to bill you either way).
But, quite fortunately, the Spider Traps haven't had any Hobo Spiders in them. This means, pretty much, that I'm good to go.
I'm going to leave them out while I'm gone over the next week or two just to catch any sneaky spidery invaders, but so far, so good!
In the meantime, Bugsy and Bobo's wedding is coming up, so I'll be out of town for a while. Again. This Summer has been loaded with travels, and honestly I'm pretty darn happy that we're going to just be staying in town for the remainder of it once we're back. I'm sick of traveling - for now - and just want some freakin' peace and quiet.
I picked up and started reading the first volume of Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, and so far it is very, very good. I'm looking forward to digging in to his novel American Gods while I'm on the plane ride over. I also picked up the new Venture Bros. DVD. If you've never seen the show, it's worth a rent. Packed with satirical goodness, I say! Oh, it's a cartoon, just FYI, of the Adult Swim category. And it's quite good.
Other than stuffing my bulging mental midsection with more entertainment, I've been working on scarfing down an article or two here and there and generally trying to find ways to keep myself busy. Not that I don't have a lot to do, of course. It's just that I'd rather do... well... nothing.
Let's face it - I'm tired. I've been running around all summer, I haven't had a real chance to sit down and get some work done, and it's starting to bug me. A lot. I think I've contracted that whole Grad Student mentality of feeling guilty when I'm not in the office working.
Oh, well. I'll be on a plane Friday. Then in Cape Cod on Saturday. I'll post updates as I feel the need to. In the meantime, I'm going to turn on a fan, go to bed, and pray that I get some mental clarity back.
Oh, and if you were hoping for a funnier update, please follow these directions:
1. Close your eyes.
2. No, seriously, close your eyes.
3. Disregard steps 1 and 2 because you can't read the rest of the directions if your eyes are closed. Just pretend they're closed. That will work just as well.
4. Picture a Badger standing in the middle of a circus.
5. Now picture a circus clown lighting the badger on fire and putting it down another clown's pants.
6. Next, picture the victim clown running around in agony as the burning badger wreaks havok on his man-parts, leaving him a hollow, dried out husk of a man. Also picture the other clowns pointing and laughing at him as this happens.
7. Finally, picture the victim clown leave the circus, joining the military, working with special forces crews, learning to kill with his bare hands, subsequently leaving the military, and then hunting down each and every clown from that blasted circus and exacting bloody revenge on each of them for their stupid little badger prank. You can imagine him also killing their families and friends if you're in to that Sopranos sort of thing, but it's entirely optional. I was going for more of a Commando-style clown massacre thing, you know, where Ah-nold puts the steam pipe through that guy and it whistles through his chest with steam coming out the other end and Ah-nold says he needs to "blow off some steam," except that with these clowns it would probably have to be done in honking noises seeing as clowns don't really talk to each-other. The whole thing could be subtitled as well, so you'd know what was going on when they honked. That way, you can understand clearly why Binky had to die, and why he won't get any mercy from our very, very, very pissed off clown anti-hero. If you're not really in to a completely morbid revenge thing, you can make it ironic where the victim clown traps the guy who did it in a room and then fills it full of burning badgers. Or, you could add a romantic end to it where the victim clown gets the girl clown at the end. Or, if you liked Tokyo Drifter, he could seem like he's getting the girl at the end, but then honks astutely, "A Drifter needs no woman." Or, if you're a realist, he could realize that he's a freakin' clown and run back to her because he'd better take anything he can freaking get or else he'll just be lonely for the rest of his life because, I mean, come ON! He's a flipping clown!
8. Then imagine the earth getting blown up by a super-intelligent race of pink flamingos.
After following those directions closely, you should be able to adequately satisfy your appetite for the random and zany that so many of you have come to expect from my posts (and if you haven't by now, then you have either just started reading or you need a little education in the way of recognizing goofiness... or you sprained your sense of humor, in which case I can't help you because that's your own darn fault and there isn't much I can do for that, but I'd be happy to bill you either way).
posted by Raoul The Destroyer at 2:17 AM
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